So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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