Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
