i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Randomize