when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
