Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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