By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize