You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
