i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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