Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
