I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
