Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
