Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
