I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
my being single is dangerous.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Randomize
