Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
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