i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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