it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Randomize
