Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
