i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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