She said her name was "party"
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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