i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.