The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy