hell yes lets make some ravioli
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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