They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
