we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
