What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
