This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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