K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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