he was CRYING into my vagina
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
