sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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