Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
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It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've created a new STD.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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