I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize