no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
