you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Fuck appropriateness.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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