no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Randomize
