It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
