Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
