Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
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