And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
