Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
