I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Two words: blizzard sex
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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