Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
