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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
