You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
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