he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
there's paper in my vomit.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
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