May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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