I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She's the barista slut.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
