she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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