I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
