New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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