He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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