dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
