Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I need to wash the frat house off of me
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize