Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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