i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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