You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
