He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
