i jhust puked up my retainher.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
