I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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