yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
